A reflective post, hope you can Handel it.

This week has been good, bad, fun, stressful, etc. etc all at the same time.  It was difficult to decide what to write about.

First, I thought I would write about music therapy and technology, as I am posting this entry from Starbucks on an iPad that was given to me for my upcoming work at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Toddler Rock program! Exciting to have a fun new toy. So, if any therapists out there reading this have any great ideas for apps or using the iPad in their sessions, especially with kids, I would love to hear them!

Then, I thought to write about balancing work stress and stressors that come from personal relationships, home life or other places of that nature, but I feared that would turn into a big ol' venting post and I would never bore you all with that-- especially because overall, I am so happy here and am really finding myself!

I will caution you though, this post will be a little more personal and reflective.  Events and readings I have done this week have caused me to ask a lot of questions about my faith and myself.  I am beginning my hospice rotation and this is not an easy topic.  The readings I must do talk about the process of dying and the experience for the patient and loved ones.  It's very tough to read about these things, especially for someone growing up afraid of death.  As a music therapist working in hospice you are there to support these people through this journey, whether it is an easy one, or filled with a lot of physical and emotional pain.

In my reading, Hospice and Palliative Care Music Therapy: A Guide to Clinical Development and Clinical Care it lists some as goals for music therapists:

·      Encouraging family support and communication

·      Managing symptoms/pain

·      Reducing stress and anxiety

·      Offering a sense of comfort and spiritual support

·      Facilitating closure

·      Providing a means of emotional and grief expression

·      Coping skills; working through denial, depression, and isolation

·      Increasing independence and self-esteem

·      Improving breath capacity

·      Mood elevation

·      Helping patients and family gain a sense of control and self-worth

This is not the tough part to understand, it is the fact that we have to help these people through something none of us can really understand. 

(Take or leave the next section of my post, I have a bit of word vomit)

I admire the doctors and nurses that deal with death everyday and can still remain sane! I was present for a situation in which a decision was made (by a patient) to take them off life support, they did it within the next 10 minutes.  This was when reality came crashing in on me; this person knew they were going to die that day.  Yes, a lot of consideration by doctors goes into this action concerning legalities and the patient etc etc…but how were they just so accepting of this decision?  How did that patient know they were ready? Weren’t they afraid of what was to happen next or what their family was going to do?

It really made me start to question my faith, what really happens when you die? What if there is no heaven/hell/Allah Whatever?! 

I’m a very spiritual person, I’m not saying I am the perfect Catholic, but I have a very good relationship with God, so why am I questioning my beliefs?! Being in a hospital makes death seem not as…real (sorry, sort of at a loss for words)…but when you sit back and think about it…it’s just hard. 

Being here in Ohio not knowing anyone and beginning a new stage in my life has brought me closer to God and made my faith stronger. I have been relying on Him when I am struggling, and believe me, in this first month, I HAVE STRUGGLED (with multiple things), but I am 10x happier and better now than I was 4 weeks ago, I will tell you that.   With all of my readings and experiencing people in ICUs it makes me feel terrible for questioning my faith, does this mean I’m an awful person?  Is God going to punish me for second-guessing Him?  I’ve been forced to look at circumstances like these through a scientific/medical eye and then through a spiritual and human-being-with-compassion eye.  It’s hard to switch between those things…

I suppose ultimately, it’s not that I have to choose between these aspects, but I have to have a balance of them all.  Right now, these issues and events are brand new to me so I shouldn’t expect myself to be ready to support someone in the dying process as a third party therapist OR to be fully confident in the fact that God is waiting for them with open arms.  I must keep an open mind, a professional outlook, and trust that God knows his plan for me and for others. 

That’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my reflections this past week, and I hope I didn’t depress anyone! This post was a sort of look inside my head and my heart, I hope I don’t bring any kind of discredit to myself or my profession. I am so looking forward to working with this population and I feel as though therapists working with Hospice are doing an AMAZING thing. 

I hope everyone has a great Sunday, and a wonderful week!

WAHOO IPAD!!!!!!!! Sorry to the intern who gets it next, you have a pink case, deal with it!

 

This place is starting to feel like home suite home!

Hey everyone! Happy August!

As I wrap up my first month here in OH I can’t believe how fast time is going!  Really it was only the first week that I was feeling homesick, only because I didn’t know ANYONE out here.  I’m starting to meet people, find really fun things to do, and actually learning to just CHILL OUT.  Any therapist will tell you self-care is beyond important..

I am pretty bummed I didn’t get a good beach trip this year though, but there are a couple little beaches around the lake I have to find time to go visit before it gets cold.  I am NOT looking forward to that quite yet, I am enjoying my walks to my car (20 minutes..crazy I know), walks to church, jogging after a long day, I just don’t want to be freezing yet!  I hear Ohio winters are a little rough, so care packages of hot chocolate and fuzzy sweaters won’t be turned away. ;)

This week was just great; I was out of the hospital and went to camp!  The camp was for children ages 6-13 on the Autism spectrum.  The theme of the camp was space explorers and each day we talked about different skills these kids need to be successful as they begin school again. Listening skills, behavior skills, anger and stress management, health and hygiene, and social skills were all addressed and on the last day, the children talked about God.

I was so proud of my co-intern and I, we had great ideas and I think we really made an impact on these kid’s week!  We used our music purposefully and to achieve the goal of the day.  For instance, the first day I had prepared a song for the older children and the one for the younger kids.  In these songs, I had a key word for them to listen for, and every time they heard the word they had to hold up the picture I gave them.  I rewrote the words to Nicki Minaj’s “Starships” and then used a song called “I don’t Want to Live on the Moon” adding lyrics about listening to the pilot, following directions, etc.  This allowed them to not only hear what skills we wanted them to know, but to have to execute them by holding up the pictures. 

All of the kids were wonderful, it is challenging at times to work with this population even if you are a professional.  Dealing with outbursts, concrete thinking, sensory sensitivities, we really had our work cut out for us, but it could not have gone better! 

Well, actually, one thing could have gone better; I had a minor moment of poor judgment.  I’m only going to tell you about this because, EVERYONE makes mistakes, so I might as well own up to mine.

The day of health and hygiene I wanted to talk about exercise with the older group.  Dancing is a form of exercise, so I taught them the wobble.  This was not the bad part, the kids loved it, they comprehended why we were doing it, and it was a very smooth ten or fifteen minutes.  But…me having a 22 year old brain, I put the actual song on the CD for the kids to take home.  I THOUGHT I edited it well enough, cutting out the bad words and an entire verse talking about, well, you get it.  Anyway, the song should not have been included on the CD at all, not appropriate.  Fortunately, the director of the camp and all the instructors gave us enough time to fix all the CDs so none of the kids got the dirty version of the CD. Then, everyone had a good laugh about it. So although it was embarrassing and made me feel pretty discouraged about being a professional, everything is a learning opportunity. 

 By the way, watching a group of 9-year-old boys shake their hips and do the wobble is just plain hilarity, and they knew it, those little hams.

 I am excited go back to my regular crazy weeks at the hospital on Monday but absolutely LOVED my week at camp, it's really starting to make me think I want to end up working with kids.

Hi to everyone back in VA I miss you, I am planning a trip home soon!

If You Can't Find Anyone To Sing With, Duet Yourself!

So, now that you have an understanding of how awesome Music Therapy is, lets move on.

 Second week of internship was a lot more enjoyable, I was able to get myself organized and get a handle of at least all the book work I am supposed to accomplish over the next six months.  I was also able to spend a lot more time on the floor and do a lot of observing and listening.

My favorite day this week was Tuesday.  I spent the day at another branch of UH and followed their MT.  We saw six patients, which is actually kind of a lot!  The most amazing thing I saw, which I will probably hold onto for the rest of my life, was a patient who was curled over in extreme pain and sobbing.  Unfortunately, this patient was not really able to communicate well.  Without hesitation, the MT and I went right in and started to play and sing.  I held her hand and harmonized with the therapist. We then realized she was not just having pain, she was extremely lonely. It took her a long time to start to calm down, the therapist tried many different techniques until she started singing and playing songs like Michael Jackson’s “Beat It,” Tina Turner, Spirituals, things of that genre.  Immediately the patients affect turned around, she calmed down, even started singing (mouthing) the words!  I could not believe it, the nurses had been trying everything for this patient but nothing had worked, yet as soon as we found that outlet and her preferred music, we built a trusting relationship with her and she was able to lay back calmly and watch TV.  Not even ten minutes later, we heard this LOUD scream; it was the same patient.  Her bedding was being changed, and so was she.  With nurses cleaning her and moving her around, it was painful and traumatic.  We went back in and started singing and playing, right away she grabed the MT's hand and pointed at me and smiled.  She was still crying but was “singing” through it, and even kissed the therapist’s hand a couple of times.  By the end of the procedural cleaning and change, the patient was laughing along with the nurses.

It was truly amazing to see how we could enter this person’s world with music and connect with them when speech and other mediums were not working.  With that music, we were able to build a relationship, and provide support and comfort--not to mention, she forgot about her pain. 

Music Therapy is all based on preferred music.  We are not going to come in and force you to play a song by Justin Beiber if you like The Rolling Stones, it just doesn’t make sense!  Music Therapists have to build a repertoire of songs starting from the 1910’s to NOW so we can be ready for whoever comes our way.  Occasionally we find we may be at a little bit of a loss, such as when we’re asked to play heavy metal.  I was once told by a client that they prefer old school rap—good thing I knew a whole verse of a Biggie song and used it successfully. *Brushes shoulders off*  Knowing a huge range of music not only makes me a better musician, more well rounded in MY personal preferences, but obviously, a better therapist. 

I’ve yet to come across a client who prefers the same kind of music I do.  Well, besides the older generation who loves jazz and showtunes.  Otherwise, I’m still waiting for someone to want some, I don’t know, Gavin Degraw or some awesome alternative stuff. 

This brings me to a discussion I had with one of my supervisors on Friday, musical genres are becoming less and less specific.  For example, not only do you have rock, you have indie rock, alternative rock, 60’s rock..!!  That is going to change and challenge our field greatly.  We are going to have to learn so many more songs and genres to adjust to our future clients, because lets face it, we aren’t going to have too many more people telling us their favorite song is “5ft 2, Eyes of Blue."---> Alright MTs lets all start building our remixing skills!

Anyway, what I got out of my second week was that I need to start building my rep and also having the patience to figure out what speaks to each individual can be one of the most beneficial thing one can do in the therapeutic process.  Each week, no, each day continues to show me all the amazing things music therapy and music therapists can do.

Other things I learned:

         How to (functionally) play and tune an autoharp

         Improvisational skills on guitar

         Silence is OKAY!

         Listen. To. Everyone. (and RETAIN IT)

         Actions speak louder than words.

I will leave you with one of my preferred the songs which I am actually listening to right now.

 Dance With Me by The Sounds.

I’d be interested to know what YOUR preferred music is…leave a comment if you want tell me your favorite song or band/singer, perhaps I'll learn one and play it in a future blog post!

I hope everyone has an AMAZING week. Thanks for reading!

Although Louis Arm'strong Enough To Play A Trumpet, Would It Be Strong Enough To Be A Music Therapist?!

Week 2 was a success, although somehow it feels like week 20! Only in my second week, I feel as though I am growing as a professional, musician, therapist, and as a person!  And I would like to say, if I ever harped on you for not wanting to go out on a weeknight, I am sorry....working is exhausting! (Rough life, I know)

At times, I really feel I am one of the luckiest people! I get to help people all day long with music, the thing I may just love the most--besides family and all that jazz of course.

WAIT.
Before I go any further, it has come to my attention that perhaps you are not aware of what exactly I am trying to do and accomplish through this internship...this simply will not do and it is just crazy that I didn't start my blog with this nonsense--I suppose I'll have to write two entries this week.



So, you sing and make people feel better!? Thats so nice!
Um, that's not really it.

                                                        WHAT DO YOU EVEN DO!?

Music therapists have a degree and must pass a board certification test to become credentialed.  Music therapy is evidence based, and supported through research in our own journals and resources as well as medical, scientific, psychology, and education resources. 

"Music Therapy is an established health profession in which music is used within a therapeutic relationship to address physical, emotional, cognitive, and social needs of individuals." 
     -AMTA Website
http://www.musictherapy.org/

As a music therapist I obtain a referral and first assess a client/patient and based on the identified non-musical needs, weaknesses, or already set goals, I implement musical interventions (or activities-- we try not to use the word activity) like singing, moving, playing, listening, etc. to achieve and help those needs and goals!  Music processing does not have a specific area of the brain (unless you specifically look at hearing) so it can reach people in so many different and amazing ways. Music can affect the brain and the psyche differently because it is such an innate and biological thing to us as human beings.

We work with basically any kind of disability or population you can think of.  In my internship (to name a few) I am specifically working with:
-Cancer patients (pain, coping, procedural support, etc.)
-Clients with mood disorders
-Hospice
-Neurological hospitalizations
-SICU

In the future, I hope to do more research and work with the hearing impaired and NICU babies and families.

Overall, its an amazing field.  I encourage anyone to support it, do research on it, or just listen to me ramble about it.

Music Therapy in the media:  CHECK THIS STUFF OUT

Sing You Home (Book)

Musicohilia (Book)--not music therapy but awesome stories about music and the brain

The Music Never Stopped (Movie)

Senator Giffords (Her personal story of being shot and MT being a huge part of her road to recover)

There is so much more out there...but this should get you started!

It is NOT natural to be THAT sharp.

Well, I survived the first week!

It feels really good to be getting settled in and focused.  The first couple days were very administrative, but after that, it was time to dive in headfirst!

Everyone kept telling me, just breathe because the first week makes you feel like your head is going to explode—tons of information, assignment plans, expectations--everything thrown at you at once.  Now that it’s the weekend, it all seems doable with focus and hard work.  I’ll admit that school came a little easy to me, and I really didn’t put in 100% effort.  With this internship though, I know I have to put in every ounce of effort I’ve got.  Looking at everything I am supposed to accomplish over the next 5/6 months, I realized I am going to be an amazing therapist. I am definitely in the right place if I want to be ready for the professional world.

                                                             TOO LEGIT TO QUIT!

Things I’ve learned:

 I DO NOT have enough professional clothes. (oh darn, looks like I have to go shopping)

Mental health is scary and also one of the most interesting populations I am going to work with.

Everyone messes up.

The hospital cafeteria is actually pretty awesome.

Cleveland roads, are terrible, really, REALLY terrible.

SOB stands for “short of breath,” not…the other thing.

My co-intern is just awesome; she’s almost like another version of me, except a little more together because she’s been at it for 3 months already.  I hope I am as organized and successful as her when I become someone’s senior intern.  It’s nice to have her around to talk to, hang out, and ask questions, otherwise I may just be completely lost and a little lonely!

I have 4 supervisors, each one different and amazing in their own way.  Each also has their own specialty: psych, hospice, cancer, physical rehab, etc.

I’ve found my jogging route, have gotten myself downtown a few times, and I am starting to learn the ins and outs of Cleveland! (Finally made it to the rock and roll hall of fame—go there its pretty great)  The woman I live with is nothing but nice and each day gets better and easier.  Not only has my family been amazing these past 7 days, but my friends too.  Calling me, FaceTime-ing me, and I am SO thankful for that, that constant reminder that I’m loved, missed, and CAN do this!  I have people coming to visit me today as well as next weekend—I am too excited! 

Random cool story to wrap up:  A Korean film crew was following our department around because they are making a documentary about music therapy around the world.  The one guy who spoke English knew where Leesburg, VA was and said “Isn’t that the place with the huge outlet mall?”  Talk about a small world!
(Also, I guess I’ll be famous in Korea)

Anywho, that was the short, sweet, and scattered version of my week.  I have a feeling I could write an entire novel for each post, but I shall spare you. 

Have an amazing week everyone :)

Breaking into song, because I can't find the key.

Holy cow, I can’t believe the day has come!  I am shipping off to Ohio! Already behind on readings because they forgot to send me the reading list...........

You know what though, I'm PUMPED.

The whole internship process seems like I started it two days ago, it happened faster than a Tallahassee second " ;) "

After switching majors, I just dove head first in the therapy world and the time to apply for internships just creeped up on me—wasn’t I just making my first parachute supplemental out of a bed sheet?
I remember my friend Kristen and I thinking “Shouldn’t they have warned us about this?”

Perhaps to give you some idea: appropriate internship searching starts about 9 months to a year in advance.

Going off AMTA rules of applying for only 4 internships at one time, I found my top four, and gathered recommendations, transcripts, etc. After sending out my first two applications to a hospital in TX and University Hospitals in OH, I was lucky enough to score an interview at both! 

The interview process was BEYOND scary; not knowing exactly what they’d ask you or tell you to play.  I thought I did well on my interview for TX and bombed Ohio’s, which apparently wasn't the case at all.  They asked questions about myself, my schooling, my philosophy, and situational questions.

 I applaud everyone doing these things. I prayed I did not have to do anymore..

Which, I didn’t.

At this point I was thinking I REALLY want to go to Texas because I want to live near my best friend, and well, TX is awesome.  On the other hand, OH would be the opportunity of a lifetime, how will I pick!? Fortunately, they made it pretty easy: TX told me no and OH told me yes. Funny I suppose.

From there, I thought my only stress would be worrying if I had to become a Cleveland Browns fan.

WRONG.

I was so relieved to have landed the internship, I thought I could just enjoy my last semesters at SU. Yet, as time carried on (as it usually does) realizations and realities set in.  I’ve never lived farther than an hour away from home.  What if I fail? What if my repertoire sucks?  What are my boyfriend and I going to do? Etc. Etc.

That’s basically where I am right now…nervous about the unknown.

Granted, each day it gets a little better, and I get a little a lot more excited.  Everyone I've spoken to is nothing but nice and assures me it is like one giant family.  I’ll admit I still have a little bit of fear, that's expected, but I am fully confident I will be fine, I will learn, and I will succeed.   

BYEEE VA see ya soon.

And you can tell everybody, this is your blog.

Hello there friend, family member, SU colleague, random internet browser, or future music therapy intern!  I am so glad you stumbled upon my blog!

I am about to start probably the most frightening yet amazing journey of my life, my internship. I wanted to write this blog for a couple reasons: to keep everyone updated on all the amazing things I’ll be learning and experiencing over the next six months, and also to provide some sort of, comfort, or reassurance, or normalization, or SOMETHING of that nature to future interns.  Simply because, well honestly, this is kinda scary! 

Careful—its about to get reallllll cheesy with a bunch of music puns…

A poem by Dallas Clayton:

Every time I read this poem, I relate to it in a different way.  Today when I read it, I think, I know what kind of song I am as a person, a friend, a student, but what kind of song will I be as an intern or a therapist?  I want to be something amazing, inspiring, and beautifully written.  I have earned a spot in one of the top internships and I want to live up to that standard. 

“What could your song do, and who would sing along to the song that was you?”

I know my song will sometimes sound dissonant with mistakes or struggles, but I want it to help people in this hospital. I want to become the best intern and therapist I can be.  But most of all, I hope in the end, I’LL want to be the one to sing along to my song.